The English Maximalista

Please allow me to introduce you to Dirk, my knight in shining armour.

Dirk has been in the Maximalista family for about fifteen years, which is when I purchased him from an antique shop on the square in Woodstock, Illinois. 

Yes, I am aware that he isn’t technically an antique, but nevertheless, this is from whence he came.

I had pooled my birthday money that year, went on a birthday shopping spree, and came home with a suit of armour. Stranger things have happened.

When I first got him, I named him Sir Hugo, and that was his name for a number of years, until a particular married couple came to a party at my house.

The husband, a known mischief-maker whom I shall anonymize here [but whose name rhymes with bike, and whose wife’s name rhymes with man-eater], renamed him during a drunken evening filled with much hilarity.

The name stuck. And at the end of every party thereafter, I would have to check on poor old Dirk, who for some reason would somehow end up getting rudely defiled by some of my impertinent guests. Without fail. 

Thanks, bike and man-eater.

Sir Hugo and Dirk are not the only names he has been called. Over the years, other ignominious nicknames have included That Thing, and Tin Man. (Another story for another day!)

I can assure you, however, that Dirk is not made of tin, and neither is he a man. I have looked.

*****

Dirk has been looking a little bit battered, recently, his injuries mostly sustained during our move to Colorado. He has a few more dents and scratches than previously, so I decided to repair him a little, and give him a fresh new coat of paint.

When I bought Dirk, his coat was a silvery colour. But after a few years, I got bored of that, and sprayed him bronze. This was his colour until yesterday, which is when I sprayed him black.

And now my dear old Dirk looks incredibly handsome again.

Dirk has always been a talking point, wherever I’ve lived over the years. And I’m sure he will continue to be.

I love him to bits!

Lots of love,

M xo