The English Maximalista

Most mornings when I scroll through my newsfeed and read the papers, the headlines are screaming doom and gloom. You know, like the other day when a dangerously buffoonish world leader threatened to destroy an entire civilization. Or the countless other news articles detailing Mans’ shameful abuses on Humanity.

For some light relief, I head over to my Facebook feed, wanting to see what the friends who live inside my phone have been up to, and maybe even chuckle at some amusing memes that are doing the rounds. 

Unintentionally — and unfortunately — this morning, though, my attention got assaulted by a reel of a rather plain, middle-aged Englishwoman (not me) who was bashing the movie star Demi Moore for… being too thin?

The pretend-outraged voice in her cutting commentary was accompanied by images of Ms Moore’s svelte figure in the background.

For some reason, this really made me bristle. Not only because the Englishwoman was being so spiteful, although that did make my stomach turn. I bristled on behalf of all women who have been criticized for how they look. 

Especially when it is disingenuously couched as “concern” for their health — whether it’s obesity or alleged anorexia.

If the commentator was so genuinely concerned, surely they should simply shrug, then STFU and move on with their own life, instead of callously adding hateful fuel to the fire? Because isn’t it common knowledge that negative attention such as this is only making matters worse, in terms of the subjects’ mental health?

But no. This was not genuine concern about Ms Moore’s health, was it. The woman who created this reel was clearly intent on spreading vile vitriol, presumably to generate views, likes, and if she’s lucky, a few ill-gained pennies of income from low-hanging fruit.

Personally, I cannot stand it when women slag off other women. I mean, okay, it’s totally understandable if another woman slept with your man. But other than that? Nope. No excuse. So just stop it, okay? Do better.

As Madeleine Albright famously said, “There’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t help each other.” I believe this extends to women who mendaciously bash other women.

My least favourite form of woman-bashing is the tabloid media’s obsession with speculation over who has “had work”, and if so, why they look worse for it. Usually accompanied by before-and-after mugshots.

The latest media hyperbolic outrage is over Mar-a-lago face. (Google it if you don’t know what it is.) Honestly, people. Who cares what rich people want to do to themselves? Their money, their face, so what?!

Or those seemingly friendly headlines, “Celebrities! They are just like us!”, paired with candid photos of household names captured on film taking the bins out with no makeup on, or at the beach wearing a swimsuit that — God forbid! — shows their cellulite and sagging tits. Captioned with, “she really let herself go!” or similar passive-aggressive snidities.

Friends, can we please stop clicking on that shit?! It’s doing all of us a tremendous disservice.

Anyway, the Demi Moore-bashing reel got me to thinking: Why is it acceptable for people to comment on the outward appearance of other people — especially women, especially female celebrities?

Save your outrage.

To the best of my knowledge, these people are not sex offenders or murderers. Just human beings with feelings, presumably suffering the same struggles as the rest of us. 

Who cares if you think they are too fat or too thin, ugly or beautiful? Not your circus, not your monkeys. My suggestion is this: Go tend to your own garden.

Instead of perpetuating hate, save your breath and use it for kindness. Or at least something that is genuinely deserving of outrage.

Lots of love,

M xo