The English Maximalista

The first week of 2026 was not a terribly exciting week, over here at the love shack. Although, I am glad to report, it has been very relaxing. 

Possibly because this year, unlike previous years, I decided to NOT set myself any New Year’s Resolutions. 

No more New Year, New Me bollocks… more “old me, tant pis”. No more frantic rushes to the gym after work, when actually, the only place I want to be is at home, reading. No more wasted hours in the kitchen cooking new and complicated healthful recipes.

And — critically — no more fruitless recriminations because I can’t be bothered to do whatever it is I myself promised that I would do, that particular year.

“Why is that, English Maximalista,” I hear you ask?! Well, for the last 25 years, my top NYR has been to swear less. And guess what, gentle reader? My potty mouth has only managed to become more voluble and effusive with every passing year. 

So, for 2026, I have decided — quite sensibly, I think — to simply give up that ghost.

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Something else I shall not be doing in 2026? Dry January. 

In case you haven’t heard, Dry January is the phenomenon wherein people voluntarily opt to give up alcohol for the first month of the year. (For the record, I am not one of those people.)

Now, before any of you saintly Dry Januarians out there start writing letters to me about my stance, please allow me to preemptively state that I genuinely believe Dry January is a laudable feat. My socials have been lit up with posts by my friends participating in it: if you are one of them, allow me to wholeheartedly say well done, darling! I am proud of ya.

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Maybe you are wondering why I’m not cutting back on the swears and the booze, nor setting myself any other resolutions for 2026? My answer is quite simple: I just don’t wanna. 

IJDW is my new mantra since turning fifty last year. After a lifetime of People Pleasing — that most redundant of redundancies — or doing what other people expect of me, I am casting off that dastardly cloak of Oldest Child Syndrome. A lifetime wasted with worrying about what other people think.

Not no more. My only goal for this year is to be myself. Love harder. Be kinder. Be even more fabulous.

How about you? Do you have any goals for the year? Are you giving anything up? Starting anything new? Let me know what your New Year’s Resolutions are! 

Good luck!

Lots of love,

M xo

@joshjohnsoncomedy

The Problems With New Years Resolutions

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