The English Maximalista

Not too long ago, a new acquaintance and I were talking about the traffic, that day. It was one of those days when there was an unusually high volume of vehicles along one of the main arteries in Colorado Springs.

This person was telling me how he hates that people use this particular road like a race track. (It is a six-lane highway with a grass center median, with speed limits posted between 55-65 mph in varying places.)

My British readers should bear in mind that I live in the US, where we drive on the other side of the road, in case you’re wondering why I, the English Maximalista, start writing about the left lane being the fast lane, whereas in England, the fast lane is on the right.

Anyhoo. In the fine State of Colorado, it is State law that the left lane is for passing only; the major roads have frequent signs reminding us of this, as well as signs reminding slower drivers to move over to the right lane.

One 25-mile stretch of road on which I regularly traverse has an astonishing NINE of these signs… versus only FIVE speed limit signs. I only know this because I counted them, the other day. And now I can’t UN-notice them.

Hence my daily annoyance with drivers who are seemingly not paying attention to their surroundings, and thoughtlessly sit in the passing lane at a slower speed than other traffic.

Yes, I understand that they might be abiding the law by doing the EXACT speed limit. However, if indeed the law is their prevailing concern, then why are they not abiding it by staying in the right-hand lane?

For the love of sweet baby Jesus, please can’t we have some common sense as well as these piles of self-righteousness?

It never occurred to me that some of these speed limit abiding pedants were being more than that: pedantic abiders of the posted speed limit. Because apparently, sometimes these pedants also take it upon themselves to police our roads by adamantly refusing to budge over.

Flashback to my recent conversation with that new acquaintance, who was telling me that he deliberately blocks the path of drivers who are attempting to go above the posted speed limit in the passing lanes.

He then chuckled at how satisfying it is for him to catch up with speeders who passed him, when he pulls up behind them at a red light. At which point, I got to see a smug smirk on his face, which gave me a bit of a tummy ache.

Because here I am, happily going about my day, singing to songs on my car radio, keeping up with the flow of traffic, regardless of whether we are all *GASP!* going above the speed limit. Trying to simply get from point A to point B, swiftly and safely.

Yet all along, there are idiots among us who are deliberately creating traffic jams and back-ups? Self-righteous morons who are essentially forcing other drivers to pass them by using the slow lanes to get around? Isn’t that behaviour rather more dangerous than a few people who simply want to go ten over the limit?

After this conversation, I paused for some reflection.

Discounting, of course, those aggressive drivers who are legitimately driving dangerously in their souped-up 5-year old Ford Escorts with spoilers and loud exhausts, swerving through traffic at high speed, I have to say that, in my 35 years of driving experience, the most dangerous drivers I have seen on the road are those who are driving too slow.

And more disgusting of all — to me, at least — is how spiteful people are toward others. For what? I just don’t get it.

Lots of love,

M xo