Every so often, I will mention to Mr Maximalista that if we ever came into a substantial amount of money, I would absolutely become one of those people who own a large collection of cars, simply for the joy of it.
I love cars! Don’t get me wrong: I am in no way at all mechanically inclined, and have zero interest in what lies underneath the bonnet, or hood, as my Yankee Doodle darlings call them.
Perhaps it is less of a surprise for you to learn that I am rather attracted to the body of motor vehicles. I love the look of [some of!] them.
Growing up watching James Bond suavely driving his Alpha Romeos might give you an idea why. I also watched a lot of Top Gear on the telly. This tv program has since gone on to become a British institution, but back in “my day” it was a niche car show plonked on a new television station, which then went on to amass a cult following.
Love him or hate him, the irascible Jeremy Clarkson left an indelible mark on my childhood!
*****
In middle school, I once submitted a project that was basically an inch-thick catalog of pictures of cars that I liked the look of, which I had lovingly cut out of my father’s discarded car magazines.
My father has always owned 4X4s. The first one I remember was an American left-hand drive Jeep in 2-tone tan and brown. Then he got Baby, his white Suzuki SJ410, which I swear he loved more than me or my brother.
After Baby went to the great scrap-heap in the sky, he loyally had a series of other 4X4 Suzukis. He currently drives a Mitsubishi pick-up truck, but recently told me he wished he hadn’t bought it.
Tellingly, his Mitsubishi does not have a name…
The car I learned to drive in, however, was my mother’s MG Metro; her silvery-blue Mig was swiftly adept at whizzing along the narrow English country roads as well as fitting into tight parking spots in Midland towns.
My step-father taught me how to drive the Mig. He ran his own driving school, and even had one of those cars with the dual control pedals on the passenger side. He also used to own several Rolls Royces, which he would rent out for events.
Many moons ago, when I was an impecunious newlywed and young mother, he would purchase a used car for me to use on my trips back to the UK, which he would then sell on for a profit after we left. This certainly saved me a small fortune in car rental fees, and gave me some experience in driving different kinds of cars.
*****
Without delving into the whys and wherefores of the public transportation system in the US, let us simply agree that having ones’ own set of wheels is crucial in order to get around in most parts of America.
The first car I ever owned here was Chevy Chase, the Chevrolet S10 pickup truck that my ex-husband and I purchased for a whopping $5,000. This was back in the days when a gallon of petrol cost .77 cents.
The Green Dragon was our next vehicular purchase, the brand new Ford Explorer in which we drove our newborn baby girl home from the hospital. Then along came Robert Red Ford, our Ford Sport Trak pickup truck.
Nowadays, though, I am solidly and stubbornly in my Luxury European Car Era.
For a brief while, I drove Merry Mary, a silver Mercedes C260 sedan. After her, I had Audrey the Audi, a metallic blue A4 with a luxurious cream leather interior. Audrey was the first car that I picked out for myself, without having to compromise with anyone on the purchase. She was the first car I ever truly loved.
Audrey was also the car in which my daughter learned to drive, and which I gave to her after she got her driver license. By this point, Audrey was getting older, and since I had a daily commute to North Chicago, I upgraded to a new Mercedes-Benz GLA250.
Thus began my 5+ year love affair with Black Betty. The Top Banana drove her across the country when Mr Maximalista and I moved to Colorado; I drove Gypsy [Mr M’s Jeep], with Mummy Dearest riding shotgun, and the back of Gypsy was stuffed to the gills with some of my most precious clothes, shoes, and bags that I didn’t trust to be shoved in the moving truck that Mr M was driving!
When Mr Maximalista got Lady Penelope for my 50th birthday, I “sold” Black Betty to my daughter for $1. The Top Banana still drives Black Betty to this day, which is testament to what a good investment Mercedes-Benz are.
Although, by the way, she never did pay me the $1 that she owes me…
*****
For those of you who are familiar with British culture, you will not be surprised that this ex-pat carried forth the very English tradition of naming her homes and vehicles. (This includes push bikes: during my years at Cambridge, I had a series of bicycles named Barry 1, 2, & 3, after a series of unfortunate bike thefts, which is quite prevalent in Cambridge — something I found out the hard way.)
Full disclosure: I cannot take the credit for the naming of all of my cars. A dear friend of mine casually referred to my Ford Explorer as The Green Dragon, and the name stuck. Mummy Dearest came up with Audrey for my Audi A4, the first time they met. And Mr Maximalista came up with Penelope the Porsche, which quickly morphed into Lady Penelope.
In England it is standard form for MG owners to nickname them The Mig. Frieda Car-lo (geddit?!) is another common nickname, over there, which I think is quite funny.
What are the funniest names you have ever heard a car being called? Let me know in the comments!
Mr Maximalista has embraced this very English trait. After he sold Gypsy, he brought home a black 2026 Ford Bronco, whom he has called… BUDDY!
Lots of love,
M xo
Leave a Reply